Community seems to be top of mind right now. Maybe it’s because this is the post-COVID, remote-centric, entrepreneurial (see also, freelance) world we live in now and people are learning to separate their social life from an office space. Community is important to me and I’m inclined to write down some quick thoughts for the sake of reflection, but if a curious lurker finds this, it could be guidance on building out your own narrative and defining your own communities. These are things I’ve learned while founding the Asian Employee Resource Group at Shopify, and being part of Recess, a Toronto-based collective dedicated to creative curiosity.
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What does community mean to you?
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Take note of the people and environment you already engage with. Your local barista or bookstore clerk could be someone new to connect with. Be kind and open to people on your walks/errands
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Be curious — let your curiosity lead you towards action with like-minded people aka: get a hobby, talk to somebody
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Find balance between building (do things) and sharing (tell people)
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We need help building accessible (free) third places
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Contribute to the growth you want to see in your space and people
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What could mentorship and sponsorship look like for your community? Are you in a space to do any of those things?
My journey towards belonging (feel free to skip)
Like many people, I wanted to leave Toronto. My Tumblr and Youtube years connected me to people in cities like San Jose and New York that made me feel like Toronto isn’t where I belonged. No one looked like me, and I didn’t feel like my interests aligned with anyone at school or in my neighbourhood. Most of my 20s was spent in and out of many countries (there was a point of saturation where I was in a different city every month). But there was something about it that was missing. I met many people along the way, but my ins and outs never gave me the chance to plant any meaningful roots.
I think a pivotal mindset shift was having a roommate like Chris. He and I went to school together, and we had also worked and taught classes together. He’s curious to his core — his music and film taste hovered below well below the mainstream, says yes to any cuisine, bikes the city for hours finding places I wouldn’t have otherwise traversed. He’s a doer of things and doesn’t brag about it; I’d say at the time he was an introvert and did all of these things independently, but still very open to social gatherings. Chill guy. Living with Chris meant I was extended an invite to any concert, film, restaurant, bike route — and if I didn’t feel like it, he would go on his own anyway. If it weren’t for him, I don’t think I would have found joy in the quiet things happening in Toronto.
I found a lot of joy in travelling. I was always by myself, going my own pace. I ate food I wouldn’t have otherwise tried, saw concerts and films, dated many people. I loved wandering, looking up at buildings and trees, observing graffiti, and writing in the local coffee shops. My objective was never to find the coolest places, but to disappear and be a local. This also made me wonder: why don’t I explore Toronto the way I explore other cities? All of these things can be done at home — and for way cheaper — so why not?
I had to unlearn tying my joy and worth to external things, and I had to learn how to build my own confidence. If I move to New York, then I will be a good designer. If I move to San Jose, then I will be with other Filipinos. Me leaving home to be a nobody meant that I could reinvent myself over and over. But what were things I liked about myself? What’s important to me? Naming these abstract concepts makes it easier to grasp. With Sam’s help (professional coach and dear friend), I was able to identify my fundamental values: honesty, authenticity, being at my own pace, support, and patience. I also value community and acceptance, and creativity. I think having to learn more about myself unlocked the road towards finding people who shared the same values, and where to find them.