…is somewhat of a lie. Well, it’s more like: what ever concept of freelance I ever knew pre-freelance, is a silly thing to think about in a capitalist world. In some ways, my time is still dictated by the rhythms of corporate life, all if not most of my clients are corporate.
I loved the idea of writing my own rules in freelance. I thought maybe this meant I could choose my work hours, how I spent my money, where to work, and what I get to work on. Looking back, these are all things that are possible in a 9-5 (if the company allowed this kind of flexibility). What I really chose was absorbing more risk and costs that a corporation would normally take. I’m not sure if I’m doing capitalism right or wrong at this point.
That said: I’m debating if I should even go back. Without flagging myself here for bots and recruiters to spam me, a big-time AI company is looking to hire me full time (I’ve been doing contract work for them for some time now), but instead of excitement, I feel dread. I love the team and I love the work that I do (I found an avenue of community + culture that I could appreciate and feel fulfilled in a corporate context). I think I’m dreading the obligations and the time I might not have to do any of the fun projects that I’ve been able to do in freelance. It’s a later decision to make, so I’m happy to ride out until the day comes.
Aside from this big-time contract, I’ve been doing more web development (Webflow, Framer, Wordpress) and feeling more fulfillment in that. Most recently, I built Muse (not designed!), and I’m extremely proud of how much time and detail I put into it. I feel really good about moving in this direction! I love that I get to exercise this part of my brain and this alternate universe where I I had the mentorship early on to know the thing that I actually wanted to do in my career is web development, not graphic design.